Yesterday something happened that freaked me out a little.
Most of you know my mom passed a little over 2 years ago, and I have her cremains with me. Her “house” is a beautiful wooden box, which as been on a small hutch in the hall leading to our bedroom. My grandfather’s flag (military veteran – Army) is there, as well. He passed about 30 years ago.
Now, here’s what happened yesterday.
I did a bunch of stuff in the morning (thanks to the Kallie waking me up at 4am) and had a nap after. During the nap I had a dream.
In my dream I was driving a stretch of road that I traveled a lot for a previous job in Maine. I was on the phone with my mom and she sounded distracted, so I asked her what she was doing. She said, “I’m watching the fish.” Dream me thought “you don’t have any fish, but whatever”. So I’m talking and she’s distracted by the fish. And my dream brain clicked and I asked her if she was really gone or if she was just fucking with me. There was a pause, and I said “Mom”. An older man’s voice said, “I’m sorry, honey. You know you can call us anytime you want,” and I started crying. I woke up in tears.
I told Mike about it when he got home and he pointed out that I had moved the hutch with her ashes from the hall to beside the discus tank before the nap. Literally, she was watching the fish. And chances are good that the older man was my grandfather.
I think they were reminding me that they were still here, still watching over me. That I could, indeed, call whenever I needed to.
It should also be pointed out that Mother’s Day was 2 days before the anniversary of mom’s death (May 15), that gramp’s birthday was June 6, and mom’s birthday is June 25th. Clearly, they’ve both been on my mind.
June 26th will be 6 months since my grandmother passed. I’m hoping she stops by for a visit.